Serbasalah

What are you looking at? Sepertinya kalian menikmati pekerjaan sampingan sebagai tukang memandang orang dengan sebelah mata ya.. But I dont. Aku yakin Tuhan tak pernah muak atau capek mendengar keluhan hamba-Nya yang kecil dan lemah. Oh Tuhan, Engkau benar-benar Maha Kuasa.

Aku tidak gentar. Akhir-akhir ini aku sering terjebak dalam perasaan serbasalah. Seperti ada yang tidak beres dengan jalan pikiranku, padahal mungkin masalahnya terletak pada orang lain. Actually, people, what do you expect me to be? Whatever, I will do it in my own way.

Mungkin aku terlalu mengharapkan pujian. Padahal itu jelas cuma semu dan terkesan duniawi.

Mungkin aku kurang menghargai diriku sendiri. Padahal jelas aku bisa melakukan semua yang kumau.

Mungkin aku terlalu memakai hati sehingga tak sempat menengok otakku yang berpotensi cerdas?

Maybe I'm just taking all stuffs too seriously.

Nah. Sadar nggak sih Yul, barusan kamu menyalahkan diri sendiri lagi. 

Day by Day.. Time by Time..

Helloo, readers soo loong time no post from me. I beg your apologize, for sure. Being busy and... lazy lately :B I am not really into another things, dont forget you at all. Just accept ya that this is my habbit. I post once or twice then, CLING*dissapear. I'm a half-time amateur writer.

Sudah tiba di penghujung kelas 2 SMA sekarang. I'm going to reach up the next level of high school: university. So wonderful... realizing that days walk too fast. No time for regretting. I thought it was yesterday I started learning, speaking and studying in kindergarten. Amazing and awkward.

I should've benn listed every major that I interested in. But, yeah life always has the worst part. And my worst part is I haven't done anything yet for the preparation. Including picking the university for my next goal, listing majors, selecting, and being focus on them. Pity.

Sebenarnya aku sama sekali nggak meremehkannya. Jujur, aku belum menemukan passion-ku apa. So I can't decide whether its right or wrong. Cuma punya gambaran kecil mau lanjut di mana, tapi sama sekali belum mantap sampai merasa "I have to be there! Have to! HAVE TO!" Errwww, noo I guess (-_-)

UAS sekolahku baru aja selesai. Bernapas lega, fiuhh. Absolutely tiring, drain my energy. Just to be honest, I did the exams all out. I dont want to get bad scores anymore, I've already woke up. Bad scores are hellNO. And remedial? I realize that I'll go through it. Difficult exams, but I've tried very hard to make it better than before.  Pray for my SNMPTN Undangan next year ya.. Hopefully I can be accepted.. 

Gonna tell you my next schedule: refreshing! Aahaha not in the real meaning ;) Mungkin sedikit memanjakan diri, karena besok hari Minggu. Hihihirww. My mom just bought me some body treatment materials :p yaaa u know, girls things. Love it, make me refresh (^_^)

I'll see you soon for the next posting. Have a nice sleep.

Click. #go to bed #offline #tired

Tee-hee...........................

Aku Kembali Loh, Sambut Dong...

Aku kembali, blogger. Akhirnya. Setelah vakum dari kapan itu (nggak bisa aku ingat), bisa dibilang 'sekian lama'. Maaaaaaaaaaffffff sekaliiiiiihhhhh. Si malas nyerang gitu aja, aku nggak berkutik -_- Ini permintaan maaf paling tulus karena aku udah kejam dan... bertindak 'hina'. Tapi setidaknya aku masih tau diri, nggak memulai posting dengan mengucap "Hai" atau "Halo" secara innocent kan? ;))) 

Anyway, how's life treating you all guys? I'm living my life normally. I'm very fine, thanks. Penasaran kenapa aku posting lagi? Haha jujur aja, niat untuk itu udah muncul sejak dahulu kala. I mean, beberapa waktu lalu tahun 2011. Rasanya begitu surfing internet, naluri blogging-ku memanggil-manggil. Gatal nih tangan pingin ngetik banyak hal tentang kegiatan sehari- hari. Otak udah menyimpan banyak cerita yang seharusnya dibagi di sini. Dan hati ini, miris kawan, begitu surf ke alamat blogku tercinta dan melihat tanggal posting terakhir yang tertera, posting paling ataasss.... Bulan Oktober 2011. How could I be that cruel -_-

Aku melewatkan posting ucapan tahun baru 2012, diikuti dengan resolusi bla-bla. My 17th birthday, ahaha nggak aku share juga di sini. Well, aku kasih intinya aja sekarang karena aku malas mengulasnya secara lengkap, my birthday wasn't special. Semuanya biasa aja, kayak hari biasa, kayak aku nggak ulang tahun. Bisa dibilang itu ulang tahun terburuk sepanjang sejarah 17 tahun hidupku. My best birthday? Hmm, I think when I was child :) Next, aku nggak cerita banyak soal cowokku tersayang. Ahahahihi kasian deh, fyi, sekarang kami jalan 4 bulan, wish us longlast, amin! 14 Februari udah 2 hari yang lalu, dan aku emang nggak penganut valentine sih. Terus.... kamu ketinggalan update pertandingan futsal sekolahku, well toh kalo aku masih aktif saat itu aku nggak akan tulis tentang pertandingan. Nggak aku banget deh =) 

Many more. Soal kepercayaan, kemunafikan orang-orang sekitarku, huahahaha hus ah. I'm not gonna tell you my daily activities now, too long. Hari ini pembukaannya aja yah, kata-kata mutiara untuk meluluhkan hati pembaca setia yang ngambek karena aku lama off ;) Eh, emang sapa yang baca wkwk

Kesimpulan. Kayaknya setiap minggu atau bulan aku harus ubah settingan templateku, entah ganti warna tulisan atau ganti foto atau ganti judul, whatsoever. Pokoknya udara segar itu perlu. Terus ngga boleh nunda-nunda niat lagi. 

Haha nggak kerasa, banyak omong juga nih -_- Mata uda kiyep-kiyep. Lanjut besok atau lusa lagi yah ;) Insyaallah gak lama-lama kok. Ini kan sudah malaaam, nanti dimarahin pacar, #eh dimarahin Bapak Ibu :D Segini cukup kan? Allright! Seeyouh another time, keep reading. Cheers.

Now no more signature, till I find the better design.

Sssssttt. Diem. 

Ayulnya bobok.

Urghh July (⌣́_⌣̀)

Helloo today is the first of July! How time flies so fast. It has been a really tiring June for me, but I'm sure July will be tougher. Aku cuma pingin posting ini, dan kepikiran langsung ambil gambar aja gitu di Google. Not really in the mood to make it up by Photoshop things. Source-nya ada di samping gambar, ketik aja di address bar kamu.

Oh, ya. I'm not feeling really excited about this July. Realizing that I'll have a lot of hard work, that would draining my energy and time. Bakal susah main The Sims dengan secangkir susu hangat bulan ini..

"When I was a little girl, I used to read fairy tales. In fairy tales, you meet Prince Charming and he's everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales, the bad guy is very easy to spot. The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. Then you grow up and you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he's not easy to spot; he's really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair." -Taylor Swift

Muncul ke Permukaan

Aku nggak pernah jadi keren.

Yeah, aneh memang bilang begitu, tapi itu kenyataannya. Siapa sih yang nggak mau jadi orang keren yang dielu-elukan? Dalam konteks ini bukan artis ya. Oke aku bangga akan diri sendiri. I appreciate and thank what God has given to me. Tapi serasa masih ada yang kurang. Aku belum menemukan aku yang sebenarnya. Jati diri kah?

Ya Allah, maaf.. Aku membuatnya semakin sulit. Aku membuat diriku percaya bahwa aku memang perlu lebih. Padahal enggak. Ini cukup kan, Tuhan? Tinggal aku yang harus pintar-pintar menggalinya lebih dalam. Lebih dalam lagi.

Mungkin belum saatnya ya, Ya Allah? Aku punya kesempatan muncul ke permukaan kan? Aku nggak mau tenggelam terus. Lama-lama bernafasnya capek..

Tapi apa benar aku punya kesempatan? Dont let me get lost, God..

Hh. Aku kekanak-kanakan ya :")

resah,

Hi June!

Welcome June, Goodbye May! \(´▽`)/

What are your plans for this month, guys? June means one for me, HOLIDAY. Yeah, and get the school report too ⌣́_⌣̀ Horrible. Whatever they are, I hope your plans definitely make you happy and should make you better.

Enjoy your spring! And June, be nice to me... Please? Oh, thanks a lot :)

be friendly,

Sweet Randomness

Girl  : We're best friends right?
Boy : Yes, of course.
Girl  : So be honest to me, who do you like?
Boy : No ne. But I love someone.
Girl  : Ohh, she must be very lucky.
Boy : Definitely. I've loved her ever since I met her.
Girl  : Really? Well, since we're best friend, I wanna meet her. Go call her!
Boy : Hm okay.
*The boy takes out his phone, dials her number, and phones her*
Girl  : Wait. Hold on, I think I'm getting a call.
*Answer the phone*
Girl  : Hello..
Boy : Hey, I Love You.


corny,

Telat, Bodo!

White Horse - Taylor Swift

Say you're sorry

That face of an angel

Comes out just when you need it to

As I paced back and forth all this time

Cause I honestly believed in you

Holding on

The days drag on

Stupid girl,

I should have known, I should have known

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale,

I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,

Lead her up the stairwell

This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,

I was a dreamer before you went and let me down,

Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around

Baby I was naive,

Got lost in your eyes

And never really had a chance

My mistake, I didn't know to be in love

You had to fight to have the upper hand

I had so many dreams

About you and me

Happy endings

Now I know

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale,

I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,

Lead her up the stairwell

This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,

I was a dreamer before you went and let me down,

Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around

And there you are on your knees,

Begging for forgiveness, begging for me

Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry

Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale,

I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well

This is a big world, that was a small town

There in my rear view mirror disappearing now

And it's too late for you and your white horse

Now it's too late for you and your white horse to catch me now

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa

Try and catch me now

Oh, it's too late

To catch me now 

I know this moment will come. You run back to me, then apologize for everything you did. Aku tahu? Oh yeah, karena dia bukan orang yang konsisten. Jelas terlihat waktu dia mengambil keputusan itu, dia masih separuh kerasukan. I think he didn't know what he wanted. Tapi aku nggak menyangka akan secepat ini.. Mikir nggak sih aku masih dalam kondisi terpuruk sekarang? Jangka waktunya masih terpaut pendek lho, kamu langsung balik. Haha, nyesel? :)

Kamu bilang "aku ngerasa salah". Harus! Kalo enggak berarti emang hati kamu batu, otak kamu mati. "Aku nyesel" "Gak akan aku ulangi lagi", I have to think twice; Oh no, think more than twice. Waktu nggak bisa dibalikin. Kesempatan itu mahal harganya, boy :) Jangan kamu kira bisa bolak-balik singgah ke aku dan dia kayak halte bis. Aku bukan cuma sekedar rumah singgah. Aku istana kolosal yang pintunya belum berhasil terbuka dengan baik. Gembok pagernya sampe hampir karatan tuh, nunggu seseorang yang bisa minyakin. Haha (˘⌣˘ )

InsyaAllah, itu bukan kamu. Kamu udah jahat. Pergi, cari aja mainan lain. Aku terlalu bagus buat jadi mainanmu. Beli aja di loakan, kalo tujuanmu cuma main-kalo-bosen-buang :)

Aku nggak nangis lho. Paling tidak, sudah mereda. Aku sadar air mataku terlalu berharga buat kamu. Inget itu baik-baik ya :)

Oh, ya mending kamu cepetan pergi deh. Males liat mukamu sih. Btw, aku pemaaf dan bukan pendendam. Jadi nggak usah sampe sujud-sujud di kakiku gitu, lagi ;) Bye!

smirk,

Fly High Over Heels

I am still believing in the fairy tales
Dreaming round the world with hot air ballon
Kiss the sweet plain cloud
and purposed by a prince alike a princess

Carnival still in my cerebellum
Sweet, fireworks, marry go around ticket I keep for you

Hey mister
Your electric smile haunt me everyday
Be my valentine

But everything that’s in my mind is here
right in front of my eyes
And you’re the one who got me here
Kidnap me like peterpan do to his wendy
Teach me ride the wind
And bring me to your Neverland
Againts the pirate
Cross the sea
I do, I'll do with always hold your hand

But mister
Please treat me special,
Because I'm silly, over-romantic, and clumsy
If I near with you
your my drugs, my ecstasy
Poisoned all my body 'till I die
Make me fly, high over heels, and hallucinate

But don't be a player
Make me special,
'cause darling you're the only exception :)

words,

Choice ALWAYS Exists in Life. Face it, No Matter What.

Greeting, Twinkies! How's life? Are you doing fine? I hope so. Because life seems getting harder, and need much sweat to swallow it. Consider it a bitter pill you have to drink. 

Yeah, I'm still healthy. What a blessed. Quite many activities I've been through, and still alive. I think it's only suggestion. If you suggest yourself can do anything, so you can. This week is tough. I had a choir rehearsal for graduation preparation since about 3 weeks ago. Juga banyak rapat Passus dan OSIS. Then busy of doing school task, bentar lagi kan penjurusan kelas dua, tanggal 27 Mei. Haaa penjurusan, mimpi buruk deh (┌_┐). Dibilang takut, ya iya takut banget. Rasanya pelajaran SMA ini susah, and I still dont feel comfort here. 

What I wanna share here really is, tentang ke-nggak-pinternya sekolahku ngatur jadwal. Bikin geregetan. Aku udah ikutan latian Padus buat persiapan kelulusan. Lagunya banyak, jadi harus dateng latian. Aku suka dress yang nanti dipake anak Padus, ungu corak batik. And I really wanna join the graduation. But, the statement that say "manusia bermimpi, tapi Tuhan yang memutuskan" terjadi ke aku. Ya, itu memang bener, tapi aku ga nyangka ngalamin bahkan di saat semuanya sempurna. Aku kira semua bakal berjalan lancar, karena aku udah hapal lagu-lagunya dan excited. Ternyata... God says Not this time. Beberapa hari lalu aku dapet kabar dari senior Passus, tanggal 24 Mei ada seleksi Paskib Kabupaten di Pemda. Anak Passus yang kelas 10 ikut semua. Dan tanggal 24 itu tanggal wisuda...

I mean WHAT?! Okey, aku udah nunggu seleksi Paskib itu sejak lama, pengen ikut. Tapi gak gini jugaaaaak (╥_╥) Kenapa harinya harus samaaa Ya Allaahhh :'( Aku pikir akhirnya latian Padusku percuma. Udah berharap tinggi ternyata gini. And of course I choose the selection! Kesempatan emas kayak gitu cuma sekali setahun. But still... HH. Aku jadi superkesel sama sekolah. Emangnya gak ada yang kroscek dulu apa kapan seleksi Paskib diadain? Heran, kenapa ga tanya ke Dinas sebelumnya. Gak smart, at all (˘_˘٥) 

That's make me feel upset. I know, Life is full of choice, and you have to be ready when you required to select it one, just one. Yeah because you can't do a lot of things in a same time, rite? I think, gampang aja milihnya kalo pilihan itu yang satu membawa kebaikan, yang satu membawa keburukan. Kita pasti milih yang ngasih keuntungan buat kita kan? Orang normal pasti milih itu. But how if the one is good for us, while the other is also good? Keduanya sama-sama hal yang kita sukai dan terjadi dalam waktu yang sama. Even like that, we still have to choose! Oh, kejammmm -___-

Well, that's all. Pray for me please, I am on a little stress. Gotta study for the final exam. And wish me choose the best major, key? Pilihan pertama IPA, jelas, but then I think about Language major. Interesting too. So, dilema. And I face the choice again! Urgh ⌣́_⌣̀ See ya around! ^^

upset,

  

#1

Malam, Bloggers.. I realize what I feel now. No doubt, I love him. After our trip to Kaliandra, he always message me. Everytime and want to know my activities. He doesn't really care about R. Tapi jujur aku masih nggak enak banget. Apa yang aku bayangin bener-bener terjadi.

I opened her Facebook account and got this. This is the first, and make me silent. Screaming inside.

I am shocked! Dia secara nggak langsung nyebut aku tuh ⌣́_⌣̀

Terpukul. Banget. Aku nggak pernah mikir si R se-'eksis' itu (¬_¬"). She exposed that all even in her Facebook! God! Yeah, whatta child. Tapi jujur, kata-katanya oke juga. Pake inggris dan well, undirectly dia jelek-jelekin aku. She didn't know the real story. Toh mereka udah putus lagi, dan from beginning, he came to me! Bukan aku yang dateng buat dia. So sorry, but you're wrong..

PS : Sorry for the blurring. No need to know the real name :)

HAH!,

I Can't Keep Holding on You

Untung aku nggak punya niat 'merebut'. Atau memanfaatkan status 'jomblo'nya karena diputusin tiba-tiba beberapa hari yang lalu. Because if I really did that, something happen today will crack my heart...

I dont know what to say. I was sitting on a chair in my school lobby with some friends. We were waiting for junior high school kids who want to register the national exam Try Out, held by our school student council. It was this afternoon and quite cloudy. I haven't come home yet. He has already. I was talking and joking with my friends, laughing together, but then it just stopped by her coming. Word her refers to? Ah, you do know who I am talking about.

One of my friends, Kiki, said hi to her, and started conversation. Actually Kiki was in the same Junior High School like where she is studying now, so it's not a big deal to know that they're close. Okay, I'm tired of using the word 'her' to mention his girlfriend, let's now use her initial. R. 

R came with two friends, and they intended to sign up for the Try Out. I was just silent and helping Melly to write down their name in the participants list while R still talked with Kiki. They were talking about anything, unimportant I think. But then my ears opened wider when I heard his name called. I didn't mean to overhear, I  have ears and still work well. So I just kept hearing their talks..

Akhirnya aku sampai ke pembicaraan di mana si R cerita kalo mereka putus. Kiki said that she's not too surprised. That's a normal thing, habis gini juga balikan lagi kok. And you know guys? Si R membenarkannya. Dia bilang, "emang udah balik kok mbak."

I mean WHAT?! Jantung kayak mau copot dengernya. Aku yakin nggak salah denger. But it was really rwellee startling me. Oh, I'm shocked! Aku udah memikirkannya, mereka pasti balik, tha's why aku nggak mau macem-macem. Tapi, he didn't even say anything to me! Nothing! Dia cuma meyakinkan kalo emang udah putus, dan seperti nggak tertarik membahas itu lagi. And the thing I hate the most is that we're still texting since right after the break up tragedy until now. He just act that everything's going normal. Ironic!  

"And I'm becoming discouraged, confused, and particularly scared. You automatically will be back to your girl and leave me alone, hopeless..."

hopeless,

Loving You is... Forbidden :(

They broke up. And it just did not end well.

We texted from about 2 hours ago, and it was there he told me the complete story. I've told you before that we're just like bestfriends, right? We share problems and give the solution? Yeah, that's what we just did. He, at least.

Itu bukan yang pertama kali, atau kedua dan ketiga. That is just like their 'habits' in making the relationship work. What a weird way -__- Their relationship has been running long enough, 1 year and 4 months. But I never really understand why they often quarreled. Even because of small things. Nggak ngerti dan heran. Aku jadi mikir, mereka ini masih saling sayang atau enggak. Dan si cewek yang selalu mengakhiri hubungan. Hmm not a good decision..

Aku bukan dokter cinta, or person who experts in romance. Aku cuma cewek biasa yang udah hampir 3 tahun jomblo, nggak manggil cowok manapun dengan panggilan spesial kayak "sayang", "sweety, atau "beybeh". Maybe sounded very strange when I'm saying "You can't be like that to your boyfriend" or "JANGAN SELINGKUH!" karena kamu pasti mikir aku nggak tau apa-apa. Tapi bertindak sebagai seorang normal, menurutku sembarangan ngomong "Putus" bukanlah hal yang bijaksana. Bisa bikin capek dan males. Nggak interest lagi buat ngelanjutin hubungan. That's what he said. He didn't even want to give an explanation to her. "Biarin aja, aku udah capek." Hh, and I just couldn't say anything but "sabar ya.. kalo masih sayang juga balik kok. Dia masih emosi."

The bad thing is... that 'break up' news had just awakened the evil side of me. There's a bit happy feeling inside my heart. A bit, really ⌣́_⌣̀. Well I don't wanna pretend a thing, but that little feeling has successfully made me jump around  ~(‾▿‾)~. I dont have any plan to, you know if you have thought it, take him or something. I'm not that insane, geez! I love him, yeah but dont want to take that so far. We're still bestfriends, that's enough for me. At least this time :)

"When you decided to have a crush in someone, and start a serious relationship with him, you have to commit it. Do it well, as best as you can. Problems come daily, maybe hourly. But use it to make you better. Face it together, don't just run like saying 'break up' words without hard-thinking. Childish. And later, you'll realize that your heart still belong to him and want him back to your side." -Me  

loving...

Heart Shriek

helloooow dude!
Sunday means day off. Usually you use a day off for having fun. Stay at home, talk about some topics with family. Or go shopping some outfits and watch movie. Hang out with friends and visit granny's house (red: grandma). I usually do that too, absolutely make me fresh after a school week. That's normal. But lately i dont 'have' that normal thingy. Am I turning abnormal anw? Everything just mess. Rudely I can say, "I lose my Sunday." Uuuugh, lovely -__- I know I'm not a junior high school student anymore, now I'm high school student. Aku pakai seragam putih-abu, bukan putih-biru. Pelajaranku nambah, nggak hanya muter-muter di matematika-IPA-agama; lebih rumit. The problems are bigger, wider and larger; bukan seputar rebutan cowok. And that's all killing me. I cant pretend by saying "I'm fine, thanks and I love my school".

Yeah, my activities are my choice. I've decided to run them and took the risk. Take the Job Take the Risk, right? You can find other people that undergo the same problem with me, or maybe harder. So I think this isn't such a big problem that can make your head blown up. Just learn how to manage time well, you can solve the problem. Maybe I'm not ready, well I never get problem like this before. I'm not ready of being busy all the time. Not ready of the fact that I cant spend my time with all friends freely now. Sometimes I think, people out there can puzzle this out. Whereas we have the same time in a day. 24 hours. Jadi kenapa aku nggak bisa? Perhaps I have to kick out my habit: LAZINESS. Rasanya kayak ngusir kembaran sendiri, haha twins yang juahaat :)) Udah mendarah-daging banget sih, susah mampus. Hm, meskipun gitu tetep aja liburanku hilang. Feel like wanna scream, "I miss my old Sunday.. oh-lovely. Dont take it you Jackass, GIVE IT BACK TO ME!"

Freeze!

Hey, darleeng! 
Hari Minggu ini aku keluar lagi. Sekitar jam setengah sebelas sampe jam dua. I had a rehearsal for my choir group, Gita Nada Smansa Choir. FYI, we will join the choir contest in Denpo, Malang on December, 20th 2010. It's just a few days later! Yeah, sebentar lagi makanya kita latihan terus. Dan jujur, curhat colongan dikit, aku capek. Semuanya juga capek. Tapi demi sekolah dan nama Gita Nada Smansa sendiri, we gotta be patient. Ohkeh, wish us luck bloggie :)) at least wish the best for us hehe..

You know, today's so-damn cold. The weather is really weird lately. I know it's time for rainy season, but kayaknya parah banget. I rarely see sunlight every morning. A bit dark and so spooky haha. The clouds dominate the sky. Tadi aja pas pulang turun hujan. Nggak deres, tapi turun meski cuma gerimis besar. Aku naik motor mampir sholat Dhuhur dulu sama temen-temen. Along the way there, aku kedinginan. Nyetir aja tanganku sampe kebas. I'm frozen. Really need Jake-Jacob Black besides me. Wish I were Bella Swan, guys. Haha
Just that, byee :))

biting finger,

My Brain was Drained

hell-oo blogrumpy.

how's life treating you? find any better day? I am not. I'm kinda busy lately; from a week ago. I've passed my first-term final test, it started from a week ago. I forgot the way to feel happiness. The test was like 'torturing' me so-much. It really knew how to explode my brain. It drained my time, and also my mood. I've been using my time just for books; not COMICs, underlined. Just like eating. HAH -__- I ate them all, then pushed it until fill up my memory. So the boredom came and broke everything. My mood turned down drastically. Then i was just too lazy to continue studying. I turned on my PC and started tweeting. Haha yeah-tweeting on twitter. Talk with all friends, share a lot of complaint. But of course it made me forget the time. I stopped tweeting and i just realized that it was almost midnight. Suck. I do that over and over; well- along the final test. 


I am pretty sure about my score. It will be bad. Dreadful. Scary. Awful. Stinky, maybe. Itu udah pasti meskipun hasilnya belum dibagi. Enough buat math and physics. Positive remed gua --" haaah benci benci! God, give me another fortune pleaseee T T Sekarang cuma bisa ngarep aja yang lainnya nggak remidi. Tapi nggak tau aaah suraaam > < Aku masih belum terbiasa sama keadaan gini. SMP dulu nggak sampe separah itu hiks. Apa karena guru-gurunya? Hm, idk guys they seems like really great teachers. But yeah they made the test -__- so i think if you want to blame someone, maybe they deserved it. Haha thank you btw. My BELOVED teachers you're kind and great and whatever -,- 

The test is over now, yeah. But not with the remedy. Haaah next week will be the remedy week. Suck. Sama aja kayak ulangan lagi menurutku -- dan besoook aku ulangan juga! Biologi bab Bakteri sampe Fungi. Kalo kamu baca kitabku, itung sendiri berapa lembar yang harus dibaca. It just really sucks! I dont know what to do, cuma nerima aja kali ya, dan menjalaninya .__.tapi beraaat huaa
Okey, no need to be afraid, bloggie. I'm fine and trying to be fine. Always, i hope so keep praying for ma goodness :)


PS: #nowwatching Kick Andy Show. nungguin Justin Bieber wkwk eeh ada Audrey-Gamaliel-Cantika. Adore theem, they're cool :3

BANNED New Moon Trailer wkwk

blogsucker :3
back posting setelah latian senam di rumah ujik fuuuuh capek euy -__- males juga. hari ini cuacanya aneh. ups, gak maksud protes :| dari pagi puanaasss buangeet. haah gerah deh. tapi jam 12-an siang gitu, mendung trus hujan deres. hmm, sekarang panas lagee -,- 
ohya, posting kali ini bener-bener gak penting. hewehewe, aku buka blognya kak Benakribo tadi. sekedar visit. begitu buka blognya kesanku WUAAAAAAWWW :o sampe ngiler liatnya. bruakakak :D dia emang pemenang Blog Award. huu #pantesan -.- 


aku baca postingannya di blog itu. dan ada satu yang membuat aku sangat terpikat wkwk. postingan tentang New Moon Trailer. hahaa check the video below ;)

jamin ngakak guling-guling! :'D kalo kamu semua dengerin baik-baik (no translation ya) pasti bisa ngerti kok. konyol KONYOl buanget bruakakak #tawamonster :'D udah pemainnya mukanya ANCUR wkwk ceritanya NGAWUR pula haah AMBURADUL hwkhwk 

ah udah deh, sakit perut --" just watch and enjoy! comment juga kalo bisa hehew :)

silly,

masalah dengan balancing

hey blogrockin,
how's your night? good sleep right? i hope so, karena sebentar lagi kita masuk sekolah jadi harus jaga stamina. haah kayak aku gitu aja, semalem masih melek sampe jam 12-an gitu. blogging. udah rencana pengen gak tidur semalem, tapi mata ngga bisa diajak kompromi hehe jadi ya tidur tidur deh aku. bangun pagi ini cukup pagi untuk ukuran orang yang pengen mbangkong di hari libur: jam 6. itu juga karena dibangunin momma #lagak. kelewatan ya? itu siang loh, langsung buru-buru shalat shubuh. hh telat bangun buat shalat jadinya serba gupuh. 


ohya posting kali ini agak ke minta pendapat. 
kemarin sebenernya ada acara kumpul Passus Smansa di Smansa. rapat lah katanya, tentang halal bi halal besok Sabtu. kalo bisa semuanya ikut. nah berhubung aku masih di Magelang kemaren, ngga bisa ikut. emang sih perjalanan pulang, tapi perjalanan itu kan ngga makan waktu cuma sejam dua jam jadi aku izin. ternyata ngga apa-apa. siangnya aku tanya hasil rapatnya apa. eh katanya cuma bersih-bersih RP aja (baca: Ruang Passus). fuhh untung deh ngga bahas apa-apa. tapi yang bikin kesel, mereka ngelanjutin makan siang di Mcd. bukan karena pengen makan ayam Mcd-nya, tapi karena mereka bisa bareng-bareng; sedangkan aku nggak. beberapa aja yang ikut ke Mcd, tapi itu cukup buat aku jadi yang paling ngga akrab. ah.


hari ini. acara anak Passus lagi, tapi ngga resmi. beberapa mau nyeplokin Septifanie karena dia ultah. dan aku bener-bener pengen ikut T__T tapi sekali lagi ngga bisa. aku baru pulang kemaren, ingat? dan lagi pembantuku belum balik dari kampung, jadi i have to stay at home; help my mom cleaning entire house. habis ditinggal mudik hampir seminggu keadaan rumah cukup mess. lagian aku masih punya setumpuk tugas sekolah #ihateit. aku ngga mau nunda-nunda ngerjain tugas dan belajar buat ulangan lagi. pas mudik belajar dikit sih, tapi namanya juga uda ketemu sodara ya ngga inget. cepet lupa dan ngga bisa konsentrasi di sana. jadi harus relakan waktu untuk mendekam dalam dunia pelajaran untuk sekarang ini; selain blogging. 


ketika kalian dihadapkan pada situasi seperti itu apa yang kalian lakukan? ketika kalian ingin bersenang-senang dengan suatu kelompok yang kalian ikuti tapi di sisi lain kalian harus mengerjakan beberapa urusan penting? dalam konteks ini waktunya bersamaan. dan mana yang kalian pilih? 
ini cukup sulit buatku sebenernya. mungkin ada orang yang sangat pandai dalam hal beginian, tapi engga dengan aku. butuh waktu lama untuk memilih. karena aku ingin dua-duanya. aku masuk Passus karena aku suka Passus bukan menjalaninya dengan terpaksa dan acara Passus bejibun. jangan cuma itung yang resmi-resmi kayak upacara, itung juga kongkow-kongkownya. kumpul-kumpul dsb. malah lebih banyak ketimbang upacara-upacara. itu diperlukan untuk menjalin kekompakan dan persahabatan yang erat. 


tapi aku juga anak sekolahan. aku baru masuk SMA yang dulunya masuk ke list target impianku. dan semua itu nggak didapat dengan mudah. aku ngga pake nyogok atau paket duit, ngga ada sudut pandang seperti itu. asli jerih payah pikiran. dan aku harus memegangnya kuat kalau sudah dapat. aku nggak mau keteteran pelajaran sekolah juga, meski banyak acara.  aku harus rela nggak ikut acara 'have fun' bareng mereka Passus karena banyak tugas. temen-temenku yang Passus juga pasti punya banyak tugas, sama aja sih. tapi kita berbeda orang, kalo aku emang nggak bisa kalo nggak milih satu-satu. coz, kalo aku milih have fun dulu, ntar yang sengsaranya pasti udah males. ah.


so i have to balance them. dan itu selalu jadi problem. buat aku ngga mudah menyeimbangkannya. haah thanks -,- bener-bener sebel akan ini semua. aku jadi seperti yang paling terbelakang dan ngga deket sama temen Passus-ku. hh. fine enough aja deh.
eh, aku lagi maniak bawang goreng nih. hehe aneh? emang. nggak banget maniak bawang goreng. ngga tau kenapa enak aja makan pake nasi sama bawang goreng doang #gila. enggak lah, nasi + bawanggoreng rasanya mah pahiiit huek. tapi enak kalo ada lauknya hehe. ada yang tau khasiat bawang goreng? ;) tell me


confuse,

night posting

night fellas,
akhirnya aku pulang juga ke Gresik. bukan berarti "akhirnya" adalah sebuah kata untuk kelegaan, aku justru ngga suka harus pulang dan kembali ke kehidupan sekolah. haha bandel ya? jangan nge-judge dulu deh. kalo kamu jadi aku dan sekolah di SMA-ku sekarang, pasti akan berpikiran sama. atau enggak, karena mungkin cuma aku yang punya pikiran seperti ini -,- 


seperti postingku sebelumnya, Lebaran tahun ini berbeda dengan banyaknya perubahan. semua itu karena eyang udah nggak ada. dan itu membuat Lebaran tahun ini kurang berkesan buatku. tapi, bukan berarti aku nggak menikmatinya. aku cukup menikmatinya kok. ternyata lama-kelamaan ngga seberapa boring juga. meskipun cuma keluargaku sendiri yang belum pulang jadi udah pasti bakal sepi. yah salah satu alasannya karena ada si alan sih hehew :3 
ohya aku dapet award lagi. oyeh? barusan aku buka dapet dari Aya. haha thanks yaa, dia baru visit blogku.

kali ini aku ngga tau tipe award macam apa yang dikasih ke aku. ini awardnya udah berkali-kali berpindah 'tangan' kayaknya. awalnya dari chandra gitu deh, hmm btw thanks a lot deh atas awardnya :D saya tetap senang haha. sekali lagi motivasi untuk terus menulis dan menghidupkan blogku ini heheh. terutama thanks buat Aya ya :) dan buat kamu free ngambil award ini. capek deh kalo pake nyebutin nama tujuan. ambil aja kalo kalian mau okeh ngga forbidden kok haha

wah udah malem banget :o kelewat mau pagi malah ups. nggak nyadar atau apaan nih aku ya? haha yaudahlah gotta offline now. sleep. yeh i'm sleepy, and tired, setelah perjalanan pulang yang cukup cepet tapi sepenuhnya duduk-ouch pantat panas. aku belum belajar apa-apa lo, padahal tanggal 18 aku udah masuk dan langsung ulangan! yah SMA-ku -- terima aja lah. udah nyicil dikit tapi lupa lagi, so besok harus belajar FULLDAY insyaallah bisa tanpa tergoda nulis blog lagi haaah.. beraaat ;;_______;;

sleepiness,